The goal of the spiritual path is to shift one’s self-definition from the ego to the soul. The soul is our true nature, and is aware of its unity with God. But our soul nature is usually hidden from us by the ego.
Paramhansa Yogananda defined ego as the soul identifying itself with a particular lifetime, body, and personality. When the body dies, the ego remains, carrying with it long-term memories, attitudes, habits, and tendencies from the past as it draws us to reincarnate lifetime after lifetime.
Meditation and other spiritual practices help us overcome this egoic hypnosis. But before we are ready to leave it behind, the ego needs much refining. The question, then, is how do we do that?
Swami Kriyananda gave a marvelous definition of the ego as “a bundle of self-definitions.” Through many lifetimes the ego’s tendencies evolve: from dull and brutish, to clever but self-interested, to altruistic and self-sacrificing, and, finally, to saintly. Only then are we ready to drop the ego altogether and realize that we are eternal beings of light. A vital first step is to let go of negative self-definitions.
Change your words, and you will change your self.
The words we use are extremely important. Language is how we articulate our perceptions, but it affects those very perceptions in turn. The words you use to describe someone become the way you view him. The words you use to describe yourself become your self-image. One of the easiest and most powerful ways to refine your bundle of self-definitions is simply to make sure to use positive not negative words. Put simply, Change your words, and you will change your self.
When I was about six years old I caught a fish and decided that this accomplishment needed to be immortalized in art. So I drew a picture of myself holding a fishing pole with a huge fish dangling at the end of the line. It needed a caption, of course, so I started writing “THE GREAT FIS. . . .” But, at that point I realized that I was running out of space on the paper, so I finished the rest, “herman,” with small letters. My family, never ones to lose an opportunity for good-natured teasing, began calling me “The Great F. I. Sherman.”
Although humorous, the story has a deeper side. I have generally tended to have a positive acceptance of my accomplishments. This leads to having positive expectations and, therefore, courage when undertaking something new or challenging. This quality has allowed me to do many things I might not have tried had I labeled that drawing something negating like “The little boy who finally got lucky, for once.” (Besides, that wouldn’t have fit on the paper either.)
Train your mind to use positive words. It is not that hard. If the habit of negativity is deep, it may take some time and effort. But, if you are watchful, you can catch yourself and substitute positive terminology for negative. Cease to see yourself as “a failure,” and instead become “determined to succeed.” See all others, too, through a positive lens. Our words, you see, are self-fulfilling.
Swami Kriyananda once told us, after we had received a critical letter from someone, “You are doing the best you can for who you are.” This has long been our fallback position: If we don’t feel we have succeeded, we don’t say we “can’t do it,” but rather, “We’re doing the best we can for who we are. We’ll do it better the next time.”
Little steps lead to great accomplishments. Positive egoic definitions lead finally to the only true self-definition: “I am one with God.”
In joy,
Nayaswami Jyotish
23 Comments
Well said. Thanks for the article.
Pranam Dear Ji
Thanks for sharing, though looking little difficult, I realised that I can Improve as long as I follow you Acharya’s Guidance.
With Gratitude
R sundararajan
Thank you for this, Jyotish – it made me smile. As an old guy, I find increasingly that negative self-thoughts are simply a waste of time. I am free to think positively or negatively, and why would I waste energy on words that bring me down?
This helps to make the connection between positive thought and the natural progression of letting go of the ego.
Very helpful. Thank You, Prem-Shanti
Exactly! Staying positive is decisive.
I greatly appreciate these positive thoughts and words.
Peace,
Well-written! Beautiful. meaningful, and profound message!
Thanks so much
Ed
I love this, Jyotish. . .
I especially love the part where you are acknowledging that we are all doing the best we can. I however struggle at times when I feel that someone (including myself) is not working at becoming “better”. Do you have any suggestions of how I can re-frame that perception? Which in turn will help me to drop my judgement. Thank you and Bless you.
Thank you guru ji. I appreciate this topic. Though may I please ask why we learn to positively preserve the self at all? I have learned though my actions may bear the fruit of karma, the action itself is not mind, nor is the fruits of my actions.. I understand positive re-identification will assist me in my sufferings throughout life but shoulder there be more to this that adds a step into understanding ones self as a unity
of consciousness in that the things I may do..from my mouth and with my hands are still within the content of consciousness having done these..yet I also understand when it is through ego it is unlike consciousness yet still consciousness in itself nonetheless. I guess one question I’d like to ask is..Is it possible to remove ones ego from ones life as a household. The role that I am in life as wife, mother, teacher, neighbor, etc- these seem to form the very ego I could have.. How do you suggest it’s done? I have an idea but it difficult for me.
With Blessings and Love
Daphnye
I especially enjoyed reading where you speak of we are all doing our best. I admit to critical thoughts of myself and others when I don’t perceive we are truly working at our best. May you have any advice on how to re-frame this harsh thought. Thank you and many Blessings
Thanks, Jyotish! Beautiful & timely. Joy!
Thanks so much, Jyotish. Great reminder, as always!
Dear Nayaswami Jyotish Ji,
Thank you for this beautiful letter. Such profound message. It will help us in dealing with people at office and at home.
Thank you again :)
Jai Guru
Your message and Teachings are overwhelming me whie I am on wheel to Rishikesh for my Health Check-up,
It will be my pleasure to spent more time to listen your discourses and personal sittings which will be your Precious Gift to me.
Please advise me that how it can be possible.
I think that it may be possibile if I get a chance to contact Eco-friendly Indian Toys making workshops in Ananda Village Schools in USA
Hoping that I will get Travel Sponsorship from specially from Air -India or so.
My presence in your Discourses Group Meetings and Personal get together will make me more Strengthful to enjoy Teachings & Messages of Master and Swami ji
I wish to spread message of Swami ji among children teachers and youths .
Warmly
Thank you for the words of wisdom and positivity. We tend to rush along life trying to get there as best as we can. In that course we miss so much opportunities. We forget our basic human touch . We find the easy way out of situations. It’s true , if we stop for but a moment to ponder, we can make amends and be the best we can. My mother always advised us to be careful with how we dropped our words because once dropped you can never pick them up. The damage is done. Your words have brought my mum’s to light again. Thank you.
Dear Jyotish ji,
Great article with positive and profound message !Thank you for sharing !!
Jaradhy shyam ki,So Many Many Thanks for your articals,
Jai radhy shyam ki,So Many Many Thanks for your articals,
Namaste Jyotishji,Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring article.
Eagerly waiting your kind advise to be more Positive not only for action but also in words.
Now Iremember the Teachings of
Mahatma GandhI ji –
HATE SIN NOT SINNER
Las respuestas siempre llegan a Mi a través de mensajes hermosos como el Suyo, Gracias por Su presencia, desde Rio Grande, Zacatecas Mexico le envio un Abrazo.
When we can remember the SOUL as ourselves;
Remembering that we are LIGHT;
Then will we KNOW…
THEN we’ll have SIGHT!
~~~Peace, J
Today I am a sleeping saint, but tomorrow morning I will awake! AUM ~ Jai Guru ~ Oh, no, better even . . . I am a sleeping saint, but suddenly I have awaken ~ Oh I am a saint and I sing God’s name all the time ~ Bhajana ~ AUM