There were only a few occasions when Swami Kriyananda corrected me strongly. At the time, I thought he was “upset” with me, but later I realized that wasn’t really true. It was rather that I needed something strong enough to break through any resistance I might have had. Here is a story about one of those times.
It was in the late 1970s. Swami Kriyananda had been invited to lecture in New York City. While there, he wanted also to return a visit to Swami Satchidananda, who had visited Ananda in the very early years of the community’s existence. Swamiji and I stayed in the Manhattan apartment of a friend.
One evening I received a phone call from one of our members, a contractor, at Ananda Village. Carpentry was one of the few jobs that paid well, so a number of our family members worked in that trade. The contractor called to say that they were having a very hard time financially, and with a lot of negative emotion complained to me that the “leadership” (meaning primarily Swamiji and me) was not supportive of him or, in general, of those doing business. I probably resonated with his distress, since Devi and I, with a baby, were struggling financially too. At any rate I, in turn, related the conversation to Swami Kriyananda with a good deal of agitation.
Nayaswami Jyotish with Swami Kriyananda
He looked at me and said firmly, “I am doing all I can. Others have to take responsibility for their part of this work.” He then went into his room and closed the door. He didn’t come out for the rest of the evening. By the morning, I had come to my senses and apologized for my behavior of the previous evening. He simply said, “Good. You needed to apologize.” After that, the incident was never again mentioned nor was there any hint in his behavior that anything had even happened. For me there were many lessons about how to behave when there is a potential dispute. Here are some:
- Be centered: Communication doesn’t work if you are in a negative emotional state. When you are calm and centered you can discuss, otherwise you will argue.
- Be nonreactive: Swamiji didn’t return my negativity. He stated his truth simply, quickly, and without defensiveness.
- Be loving: He never withdrew his love and support, during or after the incident.
- Be a model: He didn’t tell me how to behave, he modeled right behavior for me. Action is a better teacher than words.
- Be able to distinguish: He saw me as a soul and, while he corrected my behavior, he never told me that I was negative.
- Be done: Once I accepted the lesson, it was never mentioned again.
Life is a school. I learned a lot at that time, and even more from reviewing it in the dispassionate calm of distance. Be deeply grateful when your lessons are presented clearly and powerfully. Accept your tests, learn your lessons, and move on.
In divine friendship,
Nayaswami Jyotish
16 Comments
Dear Nayaswami Jyotish Ji,
Thank you very much for the blog :). This is timely and I should follow this !
Thank you again :)
Joy,
Prem
I am overwhelmed now but my attaintiveness leads me towards purity of my Karma.
Salute to Jyotish and Devi ji for the guidance to live in the Today,s. Society.
lovely and clear. the importance of remaining centered is more and more clear.thank you.
Thanks a lot!
Gracias Jyotish
I find myself telling my 15 year old daughter to stop being negative. This one is hard for me. I did not realize by me telling her this it is not helping us. I struggle with being a single parent quite often and I don’t always act in the correct behavior. I am speechless. Sometimes I have such rage inside when she often challenges me when in reality it is God who challenges me.
Dear Nayaswami Jyotish,
Thank you for your words. I thoroughly enjoy your insights and experiences. You are a great model yourself.
May blessings continue,
Astara
That is so true we only see our situations and don’t look at the other side.Tank you.
My weekly dose of inspiration and shakti from Jyotish. :-) Thanks so much!
Thank you. I know you hear this a lot but, ‘I really needed to hear that, you wrote it for me.’ Thank you, dear Swamiji, AUM AUM AUM
Thanks, Jyotish. Good one. It really means a lot, you sharing your experiences with Swami & otherwise, & what you learned. Joy!
Dear Jyotish
Thank you for sharing such anexperience in your life, with such attendant rich, valuable lessons. At this ripe age of 72, I sense the lessons as so relevant, more so perhaps, because I am to yet achieve the required level of spiritual maturity. Still, I need to plod on and on with blessings of such an elevated soul like your’s.
Syamal, Kolkata, India
Thank you dear Jyotishji for the guidance I receive through your blog.Just now this is very valuable advise I have received through you by God!!
Aum
Neela
I agree with you that each one of us must try to do the job to his best possible effort and not straight away contact seniors for help. Main thing is to keep cool and composed and not be hasty.
Regards
Kanwal
Dear Jyotish, I am truly grateful for this reminder of a life lesson(s) that I continue to be reminded hasn’t been fully learned yet. Swamiji has taught us all so very much and so well. It is a precious jewel to be learned and shared. Namaste
Many thanks for your valuable information.
The major difficulty is to practice them.Unfortunately despite my resolve I fail.More excercise and Sadhna is needed.